He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40, First Edition - Softcover

Divorce is the loss of a relationship and the death of dreams. It is also a beginning with new hope and possibility. Reading He's History, You're Not is like having a friend on your side to help you let go of the past, get through the turmoil, and turn to a better future." -Abigail Trafford, author of Crazy Time and As Time Goes By: Boomerang Marriages, Serial Spouses, Throwback Couples, and Other Romantic Adventures in an Age Of Longevity "Erica Manfred wants to be your best girlfriend, the one who stands by your side every step of the way through the tsunami of divorce. And, with this book, she succeeds. But not only is she a best girlfriend, she's a smart girlfriend offering great advice on emotional, legal, financial, and spiritual matters, thoroughly researched and referenced for those who want to dig deeper-and for later, when it's time to move on, she offers advice on Internet dating as well. Best of all, Manfred herself has walked every inch of the divorce plank and with disarming honesty lets us see her own successes and failures on the road back to sanity. A must read for anyone contemplating a divorce or going through one." -Susan Richards, author of Chosen by a Horse and Chosen Forever"Erica Manfred's He's History You're Not is for every woman who suffers the anguish of a ruptured relationship. Having survived and surmounted the pain of her own divorce, Manfred is every reader's `wise friend,' sharing her own story and the fund of knowledge she accrued along the way so the rest of us need never feel `alone' or believe we can't survive. For we can; and we do, as Manfred teaches us, inevitably emerge the stronger for it." -Florence Falk, Ph.D., psychotherapist, and author of On My Own: The Art of Being a Woman Alone"Erica Manfred's book is exactly what it sets out to be: the warm, witty, gritty, kind, and very knowing friend who's forged ahead, through a forbidding place, and blazed the trail before you. It's packed with information, beautifully organized, and full of funny, poignant, and inspiring stories. It is, in the truest sense, a companion volume, the book you'll want to keep beside you as you forge your own new life." -Noelle (Fintushel) Oxenhandler, author of The Wishing Year: A House, A Man, My Soul and coauthor of A Grief Out of Season: When Your Parents Divorce in Your Adult Years "This is one of the few divorce books that addresses the fact that divorce has a different meaning at every age. Manfred is so candid about her own divorce as `a woman of a certain age' that readers are sure to feel they've found a wise friend to see them through the trauma of divorce and help them discover their postdivorce selves. I wish I'd had this book when I went through my divorce." -Theo Pauline Nestor, author of How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed: A Memoir of Starting Over "Erica Manfred turned a bad situation into great lessons for other women going through midlife divorce. Her honesty and her ability to find the humor in her experiences make this book a fun yet constructive read." -Daylle Deanna Schwartz, author of Nice Girls Can Finish First "He's History, You're Not is like sitting down with an older sister who has already gone through a divorce and can guide you around the pitfalls. Manfred offers a unique, and desperately needed, take on divorce for mature women. Her advice is money-smart, wise, and on target. A straight talking, clear-eyed, and savvy guide, this is required reading for the over-forty divorcee." -Brette Sember, J.D., author of The Complete Divorce Handbook and The Divorce Organizer & Planner "Divorce is different for women in their forties, fifties, and sixties, and Erica Manfred addresses those special concerns head-on, from grieving to finances to dating and sex. Manfred spills her guts, disclosing even embarrassing experiences with emotional nakedness. Her tips are invaluable, and her candor will make you feel she's your best friend sharing her mistakes so you don't have to make them. Through it all, she even manages to be laugh-out-loud funny!" -Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty "He's History, You're Not needed to be written at least a decade ago (or, at least, before my own divorce happened). It's a fun (!), fresh, and practical approach to surviving the big break-up-a must read for anyone over forty, at any stage of the divorce process, whether about to be divorced, just divorced, long divorced, or even just thinking about divorce (wives of certain prominent politicians, take note). Manfred's first-hand tale is compelling not only for its details, but also for the very specific and practical advice she hands out. As an attorney of more than twenty-five years, I will be handing out copies of Manfred's book along with a pack of tissues to all of my female divorce clients. And, maybe to the male clients, too, since many of the tips would work for either gender." -Susan Ellis Wild, coauthor of The Unofficial Guide to Divorce

In He's History, You're Not: Surviving Divorce After 40, Erica Manfred shares her own divorce experience, as well as the advice of experts, with specific sections tailored to women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. Manfred was left for a younger woman in 2003, and eventually learned to both survive and thrive. After educating herself in the areas many women have barely even thought of when considering divorce, she is the kind of girlfriend a woman needs when facing both menopause and the trauma of divorce. She can help save divorcees lots of anguish, and lots of cash. HE'S HISTORY, YOU'RE NOT discusses how to:* Avoid "kiss of death" marriage counselors to determine if reconciliation is possible. * Find an affordable divorce lawyer who does not snort scornfully at the word "mediation."* Survive the first, worst, year.* Deal with your adult or teen kids (who can be just as devastated as small children). * Get back to work or find a new career. (Age discrimination does not have to stop you.)* Use the Internet to date the Viagra generation. * Restore your self-esteem despite body parts that have succumbed to gravity. * Forgive the bastard (and yourself) and finally move on...and much more.