Twits - Softcover

"I prefer to have my affairs over Twitter because I usually can't last more than 140 characters." —Conan O'Brien

They're rich. They're famous. And they're tweeting. And you won't believe what they're saying—the funniest, the dumbest, and the most ridiculous celebrity tweets are all here, in one spot. See silly feuds (Demi Moore versus Kim Kardashian) and nonsense rants (Charlie Sheen) alongside genuinely funny quips (Steve Martin) and bizarre poetry (Yoko Ono).It all makes for an unprecedented look at The Twits—those tweeting celebrities with something funny to say.

"If I had a nickel for every time I said "If I had a nickel," I'd have 2 nickels. I don't say it much." —Stephen Colbert

"If u could spray yourself with a non typical scent right now, what would it be???" —Tyra Banks

"Mullets decreed illegal in Iran. At last, something we agree on." —Roger Ebert

They're rich. They're famous. And they're tweeting. It seems like every day a celebrity has a Twitter scandal. Add to that the unbridled craziness of some tweeting celebrities (thank you, Charlie Sheen) as well as the genuine comic genius of others, and you have access to celebrities like never before: - "When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner." - Stephen Colbert "STEVE MARTIN IS REALLY OILED AND BUFF. OMG, my Twitter account was just hacked." - Steve Martin "Imagine a dolphin dancing in the sky. Let it dance with joy. Think of yourself at the bottom of the ocean watching." - Yoko Ono "Does anyone know the right way to dig a poop hole in the mountains?" Jessica Simpson "'Apocalypse Me' Warlock Latin for winning. c" - Charlie Sheen "Hope when I turn 60 I can think, quietly, 'My wife is being born somewhere.' #hefner" Patton Oswalt