Learn Me Good - Softcover

I teach, therefore I am... poor. Learn Me Good is the hilarious first person account of ayear-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. Inspired by real-life experiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans gone awry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turner will give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until he was laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges. Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Product testing has given way to standardized testing. Instead of business cards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn't changed noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding him all day. Learn Me Good is Jack's retelling of his sensational rookie year, written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his engineering buddy. He holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgent declaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks one girl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as "Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each email with sarcastic observations, insightful comments, and plenty of irreverent wit. If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects ofyour own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in aclassroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, andquotes from the kids and adults alike.I teach, therefore I am... poor. Learn Me Good is the hilarious first person account of ayear-in-the-life of a brand new teacher. Inspired by real-lifeexperiences of rambunctious and precocious children, lesson plans goneawry, and incredibly outrageous quotes, this laugh a minute page turnerwill give you a new appreciation for educators. Jack Woodson was a thermal design engineer for four years until hewas laid off from his job. Now, as a teacher, he faces new challenges.Conference calls have been replaced with parent conferences. Producttesting has given way to standardized testing. Instead of businesscards, Jack now passes out report cards. The only thing that hasn'tchanged noticeably is the maturity level of the people surrounding himall day. Learn Me Good is Jack's retelling of his harrowing rookie year,written as a series of emails to Fred Bommerson, his engineering buddy. He holds a March Mathness tournament, he faces a child's urgentdeclaration of "My bowels be runnin'!", and he mistakenly asks onegirl's mother if she is her brother. With subject lines such as"Irritable Vowel Syndrome," "In math class, no one can hear you scream," and "I love the smell of Lysol in the morning," Jack fills each emailwith sarcastic observations, insightful comments, and plenty ofirreverent wit. If you've ever taught, you will undoubtedly recognize aspects ofyour own students in Jack's classroom. If you've never set foot in aclassroom, you will still appreciate the funny quirks, behaviors, andquotes from the kids and adults alike.

John Pearson was born just outside of Washington, DC, but moved to Texas as quickly as he could. Growing up with a passion for science, math,and calculator watches, he obtained engineering degrees and basketball (watching) accolades from Duke University and Texas A&M. His first job out of college was designing small solid-state heat pumps, where his cubicle simply was not big enough to contain him. When the engineering market went sour, he decided to try his hand as a teacher, and he toiled diligently as a math teacher for 13 years. He now applies his mad math skills as an analyst in a really tall building downtown. When he's not working, he's reading, blogging, or making YouTube videos like "Darth Vader Explains the Pythagorean Theorem." You may have seen (and hopefully rooted for) him on the Jeopardy Teachers Tournament in 2013 and the Tournament of Champions in 2014. His first book, Learn Me Good, was born of the baptism-by-fire nature of Pearson's first year as a teacher. His second, Learn Me Gooder (a sequel, can you tell?) practically wrote itself after 7 years of teaching third grade. His latest is a foray into the world of Fantasy Football. I Coulda Caught That Pass! (a true story about fake football) details one season in the National Football Liquors, his fantasy football league. His son Drew was born in May of 2012, so books about fatherhood and cluelessness may very well be on the way soon!